Always love, hate will get you everytime.

Halloween is almost upon us... yay! I am extremely excited. I'm more excited than my little sister, but hey, let's face it, the child in me hasn't and will not die. Lifes too short to lose that. Agreed.

Normally winter isn't my favorite time of year, but I think this year will at least be exciting. First the glorious holiday season, then moving. Wow. It seemed just like yesterday it was 6 months away, and here we are nearing almost 2 and a half. I'm excited, but so, so, so, nervous, and really scared.

Anything will be better than last winter. A winter full of heartbreak (although I'll never say it out loud). I think about him still. It's kind of hard not to considering he works less than 500 feet away from me. He thinks that he's indestructable. He's not made of wood like he claims, and even if he is, wood can still get burned. I think that's why I still wish that we at least talked. He needs me around, at least to clean his kitchen. :)

To be honest, I think that he cared. I really, really, really do. In the end both of our stubornness and inablility to let ourselves get too vulnerable screwed it. I learned a bit from that, but I don't think he did.

I'm still so angry at him, and the stunt he pulled with my best friend. Attempting to rape someone is really not okay, which is exactly what he did. I saw the bruises and watched her cry. The way he dealt with is made it even worse, how dare you turn it around like she's making a big deal out of nothing. I could just smack him!

Still...I feel like he needs to be forgiven. After the incident he flat out told me that he needed me, and I turned my back. As screwed up as this sounds, I feel bad for turning my back on him. Obviously my best friend comes before him, and I completely back her and support her 234456%. I just see him as a lonely boy who needs someone to care. But, he can't continually treat people like shit and expect that to happen.

I just still see the good in him, I guess that's the drawback to trying to see the best in people, it conficts with my morals. ugh. ugh. eeek. I can forgive him for what he did to me, but to her, I just don't know. Good thing he hasn't asked me to.

I hope I made someone smile today. :)