breakfeast in america
I saw a picture today that really got me thinking. It was of a girl that I know and her fiance. They got engaged very quickly and are getting married, to my knowledge, very soon. From the first time I heard they were getting married I kept thinking "this is a bad idea, it won't last, is she stupid?" I do that a lot. I constantly look at relationships and place judgements on them. I scorn people for saying "I love you" when, according to me, it's too early. I tell my friends whether or not it will work out and these are the reasons why it should or shouldn't. If I'm not judging the relationship itself, I'm judging the people in it. Comments such as: he looks like a dad, he wears dockers...how could anyone date a guy in dockers, she's let herself go now that she's with him, at the worst...he could so so much better, she's frumpy. It's always something. The only couple I seem to approve of is Brittany and Robbie (but they're an exception.)
As I looked at the picture of the couple, I noticed how happy they looked. Just from looking at the picture I could tell how in love they were. I then realized something....what do I know about relationships? Then came the answer, nothing. I don't know anything. I base my opinions on my gut feelings (which I must say tend to be pretty accurate), studies or articles that I have read, and things I've seen happen to my family, friends, etc. Besides, what do I have to compare it to? I can barely muster a smile to handsome fellas on the street.
Relationships are unpredictable. Every single one of them is different in their own way, just like every one of us are different. People beat the odds and miracles can happen. The only people that can make those final judgements about relationships, are the people that are in them. It's not up to us to tell people whether it's right or wrong, because even if we do chances are they won't listen. (Of course if there is physical or severe emotional harm being caused to either party...that's a different story).
It's not my job to pick out which relationships will or will not work, I am not the relationship police. I will still continue to do so, but at least I'm aware that it's not neccessarily okay...that's the first step right? :)
So to my dear friends, or accquaintances, if I have made those snap judgements I apologize for them, and also those I'm sure that I will make in the future. I'm just a cynical old lady at the ripe old age of 21, that's just how the shoe fits. It's also why you love me.
Just know that even if I don't approve or make fun, I'm always there. If things go well or things fall apart you can count on me for a phone call, dinner date, or even a big "I told you so."
posted by Brightest at
3:38 AM
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