Shock collars and rubber bands

I wrote this in a reflection paper for my Psych 461 class and its so very fitting, which I suppose, is why I wrote it.

"I think personal relationships, especially romantic ones, always provide good examples of how complex the human mind is. If our behavior is basically determined by reinforcement and consequences, why do people stay in bad relationships or get back together with people who treat them poorly? For example, a man/woman is continually treated poorly by their significant other so they break up with them...then get back together...then break up, etc. The man/woman is disappointed and treated poorly over and over; yet keep going back for more. From an outsider's perspective, they see the cost/benefit (negative consequence/reinforcement) ration as not being enough to stick around. However, due to people's different perceptions of what's going on, said man/woman perceives the benefits as outweighing the costs, therefore keep going back for more. My puppy Lola doesn't keep trying to escape from the yard when she gets shocked by the invisible fencing, how come as humans, we do things that are bad for us?"

Sometimes I wish I were more like Lola, I've been shocked and now I won't go back for more. However, my heart keeps wanting to go back to the very person who shocked me. Maybe I can't be "just friends".

I went on a date...it was very nice, but so very different than what I'm used to. All I could do was compare that first date to my one with Greg. When I got home reality hit me like a bus...We're so over. I'm single. It's ridiculous that even him going on a date didn't drill that into my head.

My heart is so attached and I hate it. I never thought I would be "that girl". I'm getting ready to send him a care package for goodness sake! Its like I keep trying to prove to him that I'm worthy...that I'm a good girl. When in reality he knows it, he tells me so. I need to let the rubber band go and if it snaps back, maybe its meant to be and if it breaks, then that HAS to be okay.

I don't necessarily want him back. I don't know what I want. The only thing I know is that I really do love him and he doesn't love me. And that's all there is right now.

"My love has no strings attached. I love you for free." - Tom Robbins