Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.” Erica Jong

It finally happened. I fell in love. 4 days after that post was written was the first night of an amazing thing. He was my friend, and it turned into something more. More than I could ask for.

I feel stupid for falling so quick, but I'm here and I don't want to go back. The last couple of weeks have been hard on us and he feels the same, but he is afraid to continue on.

I have told him how I feel. I have given him my heart and now its his to break. His heart is saying no, but his head is telling him to run.

He feels emotions when he is with me, a boy for all purposes says he doesn't cry, was teary eyed. A boy who says he doesn't smile, smiles when he is with me.

He is afraid of losing me but afraid of keeping me.

I know what his heart wants to do, because I can see it in his eyes, but he wants to listen to his head.

I put him back together and gave him hope again. He helped me be someone I never thought I would be. So here we are...in limbo.

Whatever happens I'm happy I got to experience this. Even if it means my heart being broken.

I will be okay. I am not mad at him. He will always have a place in my heart.

I'm just falling to pieces, but in the best possible way.