Adventures in dating.

Well it happenend. The words I have been waiting for Greg to say since Februrary, have finally been said...sort of...and over text. Ick. I'm going to lay out the conversation so maybe I can wrap my head around it more.

Me: "You know I love gun shows. :) Get it!!!"
G: "Hehe got it. I love guns and girls :)"
Me: "Yes you do :)"
G: " and you of course :)"

I have gone over this a million times since Monday (when it happened). There is no possibly way I am misinterpreting this! He doesn't just say things like that, he may say a lot of stupid stuff, but he wouldn't be that much of a jerk. The funny part is, is that I was so happy, then I got super annoyed. It took him THIS long to say it AND he does it half-assed over text. I don't know why I'm surprised, it's typical of him.

...............

I have another situation on my hands, two more actually...

Number 1.

The rock climber. He is the boy I went on the date with...and two AMAZING dates since then. Although the first date was a little rocky, the second one was...well...perfect. By far the best date I have ever been on. We had a nice dinner, a bottle of wine and went back to his place. We talked, laughed, drank some more, and lets just say, things went very well. :) He is completely different from Greg, in the best way possible. He is caring, passionate, and has a positive love for life. Greg was such a negative person.

So we went on another date this past Thursday (the night before I left Ellensburg) and it was another great one, until. Yes, until. Things got quite intense and we ended up doing the deed. Not a big deal except one tiny detail...he was a virgin. He mentioned he always thought he would wait until he got married. I really did try to get him to wait because I didn't want to be the girl he regretted, but he really wanted to. So we did.

The next morning I left and sent him a text...to which he didn't respond. I sent another one the next day as damage control...and he didn't respond. Finally Sunday rolls around and he wrote me back. He said that he was distraught over his actions and didn't want to talk to anyone. He said that my texts didn't freak him out and that he still thinks I'm awesome and hopes to see me more. I told him I was sorry if I caused him trouble and that I felt horrible (because I really do). He said not to, it was him who pushed and he was glad it was with me. He had surgery Monday so he told me he would call me next week when he felt better.

I feel like I made this situation a mess. I didn't go into this expecting anything but a good time, but the thing is, I think I really like this boy. He is so different from me, but he has a passion and love for life that is refreshing. I met him when I was having trouble with Greg and was feeling dead inside. Rock climber had a hand in bringing me back to life. He is an inspiring fella. So, hopefully he calls.

.............

Now, the last situation. The roommate/bestfriend situation.

I've always known he has had a crush on me and have really tried to ignore it. He gets jealous when I date other people and does the most amazing things for me.

Friday he met my family, and they loved him. It felt so right having him there, it really did. I have begun to see him a different light and he asked me out on a date.

The problem is, I know that if we dated it would be very serious. Like possible marriage serious; he is that wonderful of a guy. I just (A) don't know if I am ready for that (B)we have dated eachothers friends...it seems innappropriate and too soon on my part (C) I need to date different people right now, and (D)is it really there?

I have never felt that surge of attraction as I have with others. I feel like the spark and butterflies are missing. Of course, the spark and butterflies have always left me with nothing. I'm confused.

However, I did talk to him and said that although right now isn't a good time to say "oh hello, we're dating", that I am not ruling anything out and if we spend time together and something blossoms, great, if not, we will remain friends. I also told him I plan on hanging out with other boys and he better not get mad, just like I can't get mad if he hangs out with other girls. There are a couple of problems, I am still in love with Greg (PLEASE do not ask me why) and I really like the rock climber. I'm confused and have no business giving my heart to anyone right now.

So we are going to dinner. Who knows what will happen. He is, however, the most kind and genuine boy I have ever met. He would treat me like a princess. I'm just not sure I'm ready for that yet. Oh and my sister also pointed out "he won't be around forever"...which is true.

I don't want to worry too much about the future. I just want to take it one day at a time and enjoy this life I've been given. If things transpire, they do, and if not, that's okay too. :)